Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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