He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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