Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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