Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
