I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
