On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
