It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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