Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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