the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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