Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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