Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize