she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
