Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
