You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Nicole vs. Life
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
