I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
