ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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