"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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