I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize