What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He kissed a someone with a penis
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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