I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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