just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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