Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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