You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
