just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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