i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
