So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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