I'm really into asian looking animals
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
