No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
