Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
