Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need to sanitize my soul.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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