Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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