The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
