Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You ate ashes out of my bong
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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