your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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