I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
