We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Its about making memories worth repressing
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
