Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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