I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm too high and old for this...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize