Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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