This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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