Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
