i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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