From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize