Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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