even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
