oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
