Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
