The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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