we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
