then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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