His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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