No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
