I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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