No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
