i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
