Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
