but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
