I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
