You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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