How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
