My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
