But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
