I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
