I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
