I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
