Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
