I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
